Hearing Voices

Empty Nest

TBK

My kids shared a single bedroom.  It was a big bedroom and they are all boys, so for our family, it worked.  One of my greatest joys was listening to their chatter at night as they joked and laughed, ridiculed each other endlessly or even helped each other with homework. Often there was the thudding sound of a ball banging against a hard surface and the inevitable crash of a desk lamp.  When the older two left those joyous sounds were silenced.  One teenage boy alone in a room, with an ipod and headphones can be very quiet …and then one day I heard it and for a moment my heart stopped.  If you are reading this blog, you are probably as big of a technophile as I am, but as much as I love my cell phone and I love to text, nothing thrilled me more than the day I heard my youngest son laughing and chatting with his eldest brother—who I knew to be in his dorm room at school. For a moment I couldn’t understand what was happening, the teasing the laughter even the name calling were all within earshot. Then I remember that their laptops had cameras and video chat. My oldest son was showing his younger brother around his dorm room by moving the laptop through his bedroom, bathroom and common room.  He was introducing his little brother to his new roommates.  I knew our relationships would transition once the kids left for school but not for one moment did I think of how technology would help siblings to transition theirs.

About Grown and Flown

Parenting from the Empty Nest
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5 Responses to Hearing Voices

  1. momshieb says:

    I have had similar experiences with my kids, although for me it partly involved some Facebook stalking. My kids, all three, are as close now as they ever were. They live at least an hour from each other, but stay in touch constantly through texts, skype, and the ever present FB.
    So happy that your kids are still keeping in touch with each other!

    • Anonymous says:

      My two college age children have always gotten along but since the oldest is a girl and two years older than her brother they always seemed years apart during their overlap of HS. Both however are have always been incredibly connected to the baby girl (younger by a number of years) of the family, who is charismatic, socially mature beyond her years and a heck of a lot of fun. Since adolescence had hit, I seemed to be the one to facilitate time spent together as a family. But more recently, I heard from the two older ones that they were jointly monitoring their little sister’s facebook page (which I don’t do out of respect for privacy). One day last summer both of them discovered that they each had a rare day off from their jobs. So while I was out, my cell phone rang and it was my older ones calling from the car to tell me do that they were on their way to take their younger sister to an amusement park. The speaker phone was filled with the laughter and excitement all three laughing and YES they had money they had earned this summer to treat each other. That evening I got to see all wonderful photos the older ones posted on my facebook page and experienced a feeling of reassurance that they would always have each other.

    • G&F says:

      We are so fortunate when our children have ways to keep in touch and can weave new family ties independent of their parents. Thanks for visiting and come back!

  2. Kathy V. says:

    Oh thank goodness for video links — for us Skype created an indelible Christmas memory. My mother was in her last days and our eldest daughter and her husband were on their year’s bike tour of Central/South America. They had sent home little Christmas gifts and we saved them for the Skype date on Christmas day. As ailing 96-year-old “Moma” sat in front of my laptop, she opened her gift while my daughter watched. So much for stroke-induced aphasia! Mom told our daughter how she loved the macrame and obsidian necklace and wore it every day after for the remaining month of her life. Although our last child left for college more than a year ago, only now are we truly empty nesters, having had Moma with us til she died.

    • G&F says:

      Kathy, what a poignant memory. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Thank you for sharing this story with us.

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